They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
