i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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