you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Be still, my beating vagina.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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