Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
