My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
