Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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