is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
