yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
