Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize