Already got asked if we're dating
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
