here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
