i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
