I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
