In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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