dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
