You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
