I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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