K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
