okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
