I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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