You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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