Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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