haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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