I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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