i don't like sucking hair
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
