Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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