I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
