he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
