If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
