I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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