i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize