it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
