just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
