Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
