I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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