you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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