remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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