Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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