Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
