I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize