Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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