My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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