you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize