More tranny stories later!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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