That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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