You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
