Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
