Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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