guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
