My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
