fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
