I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
