Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
