So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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