you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
