You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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