i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
