I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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