I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
