I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
