K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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