I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
