I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
