that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
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Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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